I’ve been dealing with a large pile of stress lately, and therefore my depression has resurfaced. Back when I was initially diagnosed and we started playing with all the different medications, the first thing I noticed was the blankness I felt inside.
It was worse than the depression.
Oh, I wasn’t sad anymore, but I wasn’t exactly happy either. I wasn’t much of anything. I floated through the days in a medicated haze, waiting for the next side effect, or rather special effect, to show up. Those medications no only numbed me from my sadness, they caused hallucinations of a most unusual type. They weren’t just visual, they were olfactory. I could smell things that weren’t there.
Then there were the little creatures. Odd beasties that crept around the edges of my vision, darting into view, allowing me to notice them, then jumping away again. It was like being visited by a plethora of skittish kittens.
Night terrors were loads of fun. At least they reminded me that I was still capable of SOME emotion, even though it was dread terror.
One medication didn’t seem to have any bad effects, except for the emotional numbing. The problem was when we figured out it was shutting down some vital organs.
I finally sat down with my doctor and said, “Look, these meds are just not working well for me, and quite frankly, I don’t like the way they make me feel, or rather, how I DON’T feel. The worst part? I can’t even write.”
“Oh,” he said, “I’ve heard about that happening. You do know that many writers and artists suffer from depression.”
“Great.”
I quit the meds, and I’m learning to live with the depression. It’s easier than trying to learn to live without writing. Of course, when I’m in a complete funk, I do not do much writing, mainly because my emotions are pretty much tanked and the effort required to sort through them is too much. At least right now.
Most of the time, I can wade through the blues (or the blackness) and get something accomplished, but other times, the thought of trying to put words to paper (or computer) is like trying to climb a cliff with an elephant strapped to my back.
Writers are emotional people, many of us rely on those emotions to make the story work. When those emotions are muddied, writing may not flow. At least that’s how it is for me.
What about you?
My 13 year old son is in Year 7 at High School. For the non-Aussies out there, in Australia you don’t have a Junior High or Middle School or anything like that – everyone who attends school from 7th Grade to 12th Grade attends High School.
High School has been enlightening in many ways *insert tinge of sarcasm here* but one of the most positive things about it has been the English syllabus.
Towards the end of last term my son was studying poetry, namely poetic forms. He had to do an assignment writing his own poems in five different forms.
The forms were:
- Alliteration: a form of verse that uses alliteration as the principal structuring device to unify lines of poetry, as opposed to other devices such as rhyme.
- Simile: a poem made up of simile phrases.
- Limerick: we all know how a limerick goes, particularly the rude ones
- Cinquain: five lines. The first names the subject, the second uses two adjectives to describe the subject; the third uses three verbs to describe the actions of the subject. The fourth uses four words to describe the writer’s opinion of the subject; in the fifth line another name is given for the subject
- Shape poem: describes an object and is written in the shape of that object
Once we had deciphered what all of that actually meant, here are some examples of what Nick came up with.
CINQUAIN -
Pigeon
Grey, feathery
Cooing, fluttering, flying
A chubby crumb searcher
Explorer.
SHAPE POEM -
ALLITERATION -
Winter winds whistling white
Low lying lingering light
Snowy stormy stony sight
Bristling breezes bitter bite.
It was fun visiting these poetic forms again and really thinking about the ways language is used. Really thinking about alliteration, assonance, simile and metaphor and their place in fiction.
My son might complain about having to do his English homework but he’ll just need to put up with it – because High School English might just make me a better writer.
A lot of us complain about how hard the process of writing can be. We have writer’s block, unsympathetic editors, we have conjugated our verbs in all the wrong places; and worst of all, we are swimming in rejection letters.
Let’s forget all that for the moment shall we?
Are you a writer or are you a writer? If you are then no matter what your current state – published, unpublished, first draft, second draft, editing, proofs, book tour – you are in an enviable position.
I was inspired today after reading this post by my dear friend, Lauri Kubuitsile, who is, in fact, a proper writer and doesn’t just talk about it like some of us (not looking in the mirror or anything). I have been in the doldrums lately about my novels. I have submitted one to a few agents and am playing the waiting game. And everyone knows how much I hate the waiting game.
So while I am waiting I have decided to start another novel that I have been thinking about for ages. I have the outline, I have the characters, I have the ideas, but the blank page, actually – the blank computer screen – taunts me.
For those of you who read my blog you will know that I churn out short stories fairly rapidly and regularly. I never really seem to have trouble with those little snippets. It is often, in fact, a pleasure to write them. A joy.
So why do I have so much trouble writing one single bloomin’ sentence of a novel? Is it because I am so indoctrinated by the constant articles, courses and classes out there about how the first sentence is the key sentence and if you can’t pull people in with that first sentence you may as well not bother writing anything else? Do I have a short attention span? Or am I afraid of stepping into a new and wonderful world that won’t let me leave for a while?
Look at some of my favourite opening sentences.
“The snow in the mountains was melting and Bunny had been dead for several weeks before we came to understand the gravity of our situation.”
- DONNA TARTT, The Secret History.
Spectacular, isn’t it? The scene is set in a few short words. We know the time of year. That Bunny is dead. And that someone is responsible. How could we not want to read more? I can’t write an opening sentence as good as that.
Then there is this.
“It’s hot as hell in Martirio, but the papers on the porch are icy with the news.”
- DBC PIERRE, Vernon God Little.
That is a magnificent sentence. The setting is just jumping out and grabbing me. And what is the news that is making the papers so icy? I defy anyone not to want to read more. Can’t see myself coming up with that one, either.
Then there is this one.
“He nearly called you again last night.”
- ELIOT PERLMAN, Seven Types Of Ambiguity.
Short, but effective. Who is he and why did he nearly call? That sentence just got you, didn’t it? Mhhmmm, I’m beginning to see how this opening sentence thing works.
Then, of course, if you really want to separate the men from the boys, there is this one from one of my personal heroes.
“Under certain circumstances there are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea.”
- HENRY JAMES, The Portrait Of A Lady.
Well, you know exactly what is happening in that sentence. Bone china, watercress sandwiches, petits fours. But why is afternoon tea only agreeable under certain circumstances? There’s the hook.
OK, OK. I see what all the experts say. That opening sentence is really important. It has to convey so much. It’s the grabber in the way an explosion is in the opening scene of an action film. But is it that hard to do?
Well, my friends, there’s only one way to find out. As my other very wise writing friend Geraldine says :
The only way to begin is to begin…
Now get down and give me fifty.
Words, that is.
Writing is a lot like planting something. With care, patience, time, and some sturdy pruning shears, stuff happens. Good stuff happens.
I’ve been working on the manuscript when time allows and the brain is cooperating. Ok, when the brain and the family, and the rest of my life are all cooperating, I actually get some work done. In this case, I’ve managed to get the second draft of the first chapter done. And you know what happened?
It grew.
It went from a scant 2 pages to 6 pages, and during that growth, characters and setting took on color. In some places, the color was a little too vivid and I had to prune a bunch of stuff that I thought was quality writing. And I still believe it is quality writing, just not for this particular manuscript, or at least not in that particular place in said manuscript.
So I saved it. I cut that chunk out with my handy-dandy highlight-and-cut-then-paste feature of my word processing program. For every manuscript I have in their various stages, there is a file of “scraps” where good ideas that don’t fit right go to collect dust. Some of those ideas have been known to migrate to other files for other stories, where they fit right in and work well, better even, with their new surroundings. They play nice with the ideas and flow, and are quite happy to finally be of some use.
I know that not all the chapters will grow to the same proportions, after all, the closer I got to the end, the more details I filled in as I wrote. In fact, a lot of the writing got tighter as I went along, mainly because I worked on it steadily. I could retain the ideas and story much better when I plugged away at it every day, rather than once or twice a week. Or worse, once or twice a month.
Also, I find that during the beginning stages, I’m in such a rush to get the ideas out of my brain and onto the blank screen, that I tend to lose the ability to fill in details. I just want the basic premise down as quickly as possible. Once that is done, I have the luxury of figuring out where the story is going, so the writing is slower and a lot more careful.
Editing gets easier at that point as well, which is good, because no matter what rewards I give to myself, I still do not particularly care for editing. The story has been told to my brain and I’m ready to move on to the next one.
What about you? Is there a point where editing gets easier for you?
-Karen-
P.S. Thank you for all your helpful suggestions. I’m thinking about using some of them in a post, so if you have any objections, let me know either in a comment or in an email.
K-
I’d been picking at the manuscript, fleshing out certain areas with description, when it dawned on me: who are the people populating my novel?
Descriptions have never been my strong point; I prefer just plowing along with plot and leaving the details up to the reader. Yes, I know, not nice. Also? Not popular with publishers.
Of course, I always hit a point where I have NO idea what to do next, and I begin mentally writhing around, kicking and flailing like toddler in full tantrum mode. Don’t worry, on the outside, I’m just mopey and irritable.
When I’ve reached that point, I realize I don’t have enough information about the characters to make a decent description of them, so I stop editing the manuscript and go with character sheets for each of them. I’ll make a list of physical attributes, flaws, strengths, idiosyncrasies, personality traits, and a bit of history.
The history is the most helpful, because it tells me why they do what they do. Does their race have innate abilities that make them stronger, faster, smarter? Do they have special talents that make them valuable to others, ie magical or healing powers?
What about their families? Even if their parents never show up in the manuscript, I’ve found that including them in the history helps round out a character. The same with siblings.
I’ve even gone so far as to describe a race in general, down to genetics (um, not detailed, just what happens when two races have offspring, what mixes, what doesn’t?). Perhaps it’s more detailed when it comes to special races in fantasy settings, after all, knowing how they work is important way to help keep continuity throughout the work.
Once I’ve pieced together all these people and beings, editing becomes a bit easier, because I can refer back to those sheets when I get stuck. I know some writers will create these sheets before they begin their work, but I find that doesn’t help me much. I need a place and a plot for these people.
Somewhere, in my stacks of files both online and on desk, I have actual fill-in-the-blank sheets that an editor handed out during a class. I found them useful, but there wasn’t enough room for the details I needed. Still, it was a jumping-off point and I find them quite handy. When I can actually…find them.
Oh, and if you happen to run into a character that you’ve written, do not stare. It makes them uncomfortable, and if they’re not writers, they won’t understand when you tell them, “Oh, you’re in my manuscript! You’re bad and no one likes you and you die in the end.” (no, I’ve never done that, but I have met some of my characters after I’ve written them, and it’s a very odd feeling. Very. Odd.)
How about you? When do you write your characters? Before, during, or after?
I’m in a state of shock. The story is done (at least for this volume of the series). Characters have been in peril (some still are) others are… done. There are just some things a body cannot recover from, and well…
Oh, there was drama, pain, heartache, and tears. LOTS of tears.
Um, that was me. There’s even more so in the story.
Anyway, my roommate and I are going to celebrate somehow, maybe splurge on dinner at a local vegetarian-friendly restaurant.
Because… IT’S DONE!
And now, we get to edit.
Oh, just kill me now, ok?
I really don’t like reading my own work. Am I alone in that thinking? Sometimes it’s so exhausting because I can see all the problems that need to be fixed and, well, there are so many…
So, what do you do when you’ve reached this stage? Do you let it sit for a while, or do you get right on that editing horse and race to the finish line?
So, there I was, writing away like some crazed, um, writer, and all of a sudden (which, by the way is a phrase that will kill most agents when they read it)… nothing.
Not. One. Thing.
I have written myself into a corner. It’s a pretty darn clever corner, word-wise, but it is STILL a corner and I don’t know how to get myself out of it.
Most of the action in my current piece is pretty, um, I refuse to say “dull” because it would be like calling my own child a name, but I’m working on the climactic ending, and… yeah.
It’s the “now what” phase of writing, I like to refer to as “give me a hammer, I need to fix my keyboard” stage.
Oh, I’ve got drama. My antagonists and protagonists are all in the same building (although no one knows it yet) and someone is going to die (and I’m the only one who knows who, how, and why), AND, I know how this particular story is going to end.
It’s just that difficult part of HIGH DRAMA/ACTION that really has me bamboozled. Maybe it’s because I don’t have a lot of high drama… wait, yes I do. Ok, I don’t have a lot of high ACTION where I must get myself out of the clutches of a whacko and save the love of my life from certain death, while the love of my life is trying to do the same thing.
That’s the part of a book that makes me the most uncomfortable to read. It starts that familiar “oh, this isn’t good” feeling in my gut and I find myself wanting to read ahead just to make sure my favorites don’t die. And I thought READING it was hard. Writing it?
Even harder.
So, I’m not going to write it tonight. Instead, I’m going to go make cookies. I will bake them, and eat them, and feel very sorry for myself for a few hours. Then, I will go to bed, regret every chocolatey chip bite I ate, and have bizarre dreams that will not help me in the least.
Tomorrow, I’ll try it all again, because I’m either a glutton for punishment, or I’m a writer.
How about you? What happens to you toward the end of your story?
-Karen-
Hi everybody, Selma here.
When Karen asked me if I would consider writing with her on her blog about writing I jumped at the chance. Literally. I actually went all girly for a moment and jumped and clapped at the same time. My housemaid’s knee has been playing up ever since.
I adore Karen. I first met her about 5 or 6 years ago on the Writers Weekly forum. I had never heard of writing forums or blogs or anything like that before Writers Weekly and when I came across Ms Karen and all the other amazing writers on that forum I was hooked.
Karen is a highly entertaining, imaginative, warm and engaging writer and although I have never physically met her in person I know her well enough from emails and blog posts and so on to know that she is exactly the same in person.
But don’t let my effusiveness fool you into thinking that my purpose here is just to sing the praises of Ms Karen. That is important, but what is just as important is talking about this business of writing. The pleasure, the pain, the chipped nailpolish from pounding on your computer keyboard, the dog eared thesaurus that you borrowed from your friend who no longer wants it back because she is worried about the brown stains on P.123 (they are coffee stains but she just wont’ believe me), the writer’s block, the verbal diarrhoea, the despair of rejection, the elation of acceptance. You name it, if it pertains to writing we’re going to be talking about it.
So who am I anyway to be talking about writing?
In the words of one of my personal idols – Mr. Austin Danger Powers – allow myself to introduce myself.
Hi. I am Selma. I write a blog all the way from Sydney, Australia called Selma In The City. I am probably best categorised as a personal blogger, although I do write fiction.
I have a Bachelor’s degree in Education and a Postgraduate Diploma in Editing and Professional Writing. I worked as a teacher for 15 years and currently work as an editor on a freelance basis. I have worked for newspapers, independent publishers, and for an ill-fated 6 months for a largish publisher. I have edited everything from bus timetables to novels, but my desire, my dream is to be a novelist.
Many people tell me that I can write, but sometimes I wonder. It can be very difficult to get anywhere even if you are an adequate writer. In my heart I know I can write, but my major problem is letting outside factors distract me from getting my novels done – things such as having to pay the rent or raise my son.
Many people also suggest I enrol in a creative writing course at university or college. It is true that such courses can often fast track a writer to publishing success but they are expensive and often churn out writers with very similar styles and perspectives.
I have the secret to becoming a better writer. I’m going to tell you what it is right now and you won’t even have to pay for it. The secret to becoming a better writer, to perhaps being a writer that gets published is – *drumroll* – TO WRITE!!!
I know. It’s so obvious you’re sorry you didn’t think of it, aren’t you?
I have to tell you that this is a secret that actually works.
Almost two years ago I started my blog. Believe it or not it was on the recommendation of my therapist who felt it would help me get over a bout of depression. One of the reasons I was depressed was because I had been dropped by a big time publisher. I will fill you in on that tale of woe in a later post, but getting dropped really affected my confidence.
So I started to blog and write stories. And I found I had an audience. And I got involved in writing communities. And I even managed to get several short stories published. And even though I still couldn’t remember the difference between stationery and stationary, my confidence grew.
If you want to write fiction and you don’t know where to start, why not test the waters via blogging? There are lots and lots of wonderful people out there who will welcome you into their communities and give you feedback on your writing. More importantly, it will get you writing every day or at least several times a week. You will be surprised how quickly you improve and how many contacts you make.
I recommend it as a great place to start honing your craft.
No, seriously, only three pages? I’ve been writing for four hours, and all I have to show for it is three measly pages? That’s not even one page per hour, and it feels like I’ve plowed through fifteen at the very least.
This was one of those times when I wasn’t interrupted a thousand times by someone needing something. Well, except for the dogs who needed to be let in. Then out. Then back in again. Then scratched, patted, and given their evening treats.
But that didn’t take long.
The rest of the time, I was nose to the grindstone, or fingers to the keyboard, making lovely words flow from tapping keys.
All for three whole pages of words.
Three.
And my brain? It is fried, my friends, fried. 2,000 words turned my mind to soggy playdoh.
Writing is hard work, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Even if the plot is right there, begging to be let out onto the page, that doesn’t mean it comes out clean. Like any birth, there is a lot of pain, sweat, and mess that needs cleaning up in order to be recognizable as something worth editing later.
I will admit that my first drafts tend to be rather clean, mainly because I found that if I don’t make my point clear early on, it will get lost by the time I’m ready for the first edit. That means fewer pages at a time, but in the end, a little less editing.
…Sometimes…
So, what’s your page limit? When you’re deep in the throes of pounding out plot, are the pages piling up at your feet (or on your hard drive), or does it only seem that way? Do you look at what you’ve done and chortled with glee at your double-digit progress, or did you groan in disbelief at the single-digit count?
Or… are you happy with whatever you get written, because writing, despite being hard work, is what drives us?
-Karen-
It is my great pleasure to announce that Ms. Karen’s Novel Place is going to be joined by the wonderful Selma, of Selma In The City.
Selma is an amazing writer with a sparkling imagination and great wit. She is extremely talented and I consider myself to be very fortunate to have her join me here.
Now, I’m going to try to figure out how to make the necessary changes (plus, I think we’ll need a new name)so we can bring you some excellent posts on the passions and pains of writing.
-Karen-
